Setting
After sending an email apologizing for the “inconvenience” of completely changing its email domain, the ISP finally connected The Subscriber to a human. This came only after their chatbots collapsed under the weight of their own remorse.
The Subscriber: Your email says you’re very sorry about this massive change. How sorry are you, exactly? Sorry enough to pay me for the hours I’ll spend updating my login address across several hundred websites?
Human (consulting an AR-powered Apology Generator™): No, I’m sorry, but we can’t offer monetary support for your changeovers.
The Subscriber: Sorry enough to give me a credit on my next bill?
Human: No, I’m sorry, but the boss says we cannot monetize your inconvenience.
The Subscriber: Sorry enough to lose sleep over it? Should I send you a link to a sleep clinic?
Human: No, I’m sleeping just fine, thanks.
The Subscriber: Do you use sorrow and indifference interchangeably?
Human: Actually, I told my girlfriend just the other day, “I’m sorry you think I’m so indifferent.”
Final Thought
The only thing more useless than the apology
was the time wasted trying to upgrade it.
